The Healthy End of Life Project (HELP) Ottawa aims to understand the needs of those living with frailty, chronic or life-limiting illness, those nearing the end of life, caregivers, and the bereaved. Further, HELP Ottawa aspires to create compassionate communities that empower members to feel comfortable and confident while attending to those needs (e.g. checking in on an isolated neighbour, offering support to someone who recently lost a loved one, asking a community member for assistance while caring for an aging parent). Emily Davison and Heather McGrath, Community Facilitators for HELP at Orleans United Church (OUC), have been busy having conversations with OUC members discussing support programs and services available through the church. In doing so, they discovered how this faith-community acts as a source of spiritual growth, learning, and social connection for an ever-growing congregation.
December 2020
December is a dark month and Christmas can bring back memories and feelings of loneliness. Holidays and special occasions can be particularly difficult for those who have lost a loved one, even years and decades after the loss. This year is particularly difficult because COVID-19 and social distancing policies have forced many people into isolation, separating them from support networks and restricting rituals around death and grieving.
What can you (and the broader community) do:
Keeping a calendar or list of important dates (e.g. birthdays, anniversaries, and deaths) associated with those who have died may act as a que. This will remind and encourage you to reach out to the family members and friends of the deceased.
Even though we can’t gather inside, there are plenty of ways to check-in, revisit memories, and offer support. For example, you could invite someone for a walk, talk on the phone, schedule a Zoom call, or send out Christmas cards. Don’t be afraid to name the deceased, they are on the survivor’s mind all the time anyway. Holding space and acknowledging the big feelings during this time of year can validate and empower those who have lost someone.
Heather McGrath and Emily Davison
January 2021
Research participants have expressed concerns about the aging population within faith communities. More specifically, people are worried about community engagement. Congregants are getting older and many of them are stepping away from leadership positions within the church. As a result, fewer people are facilitating and participating in church-based groups, clubs, and programs. Will the church be able to continue to do the work of God?
What can you (and the broader community) do:
Community and connection are central to peoples’ wellbeing. OUC offers a variety of programs and services that community members may benefit from, regardless of their religious affiliation. Consider reaching out to others and inviting them to participate in the following ways:
-Invite families to online Sunday School, where children have fun and build new friendships
-Invite high school students to participate in church fundraisers, outreach, or Care and Support work as part of their community service hours.
-Invite families to virtual church worship. New families may find online worship less intimidating than entering a building, and it’s certainly easier to get to!
-When volunteering in the community, mention that you are an OUC member. Can OUC support their mission or cause? Could that organization support in the church’s understanding of social issues or community development? Can we form meaningful partnerships to help those who are frail, ill, dying, caregiving, or grieving? What would those partnerships look like?
Share your ideas with us and, together, we can make 2021 a year of community, caring, and compassion.
Emily Davison and Heather McGrath
November 2020
HELP is a community-based research project investigating peoples’ experiences with frailty, illness, end of life, caregiving, and grieving. We are delighted to share some preliminary findings. Based community interviews and focus groups, it is apparent OUC has great leadership and is a compassionate and supportive community. However, there is still room for growth. People shared they would like to improve their skills in reaching out to others, so we hope to offer these monthly “hints” to help you feel more confident offering, asking for, and accepting help.
Insights from the Healthy End of Life Project (HELP) Ottawa
HELP Hints:
People often have difficulty asking for help. This may be because: they are too exhausted or overwhelmed to reach out, and/or they do not want to bother anyone or be considered a burden on others.
What can you (and the broader community) do:
Rather than asking someone what you can do, we suggest offering something tangible. Make sure what you offer is something you feel comfortable doing, have time for, and works with the other person’s schedule. These offerings do not need to be grand or long-term; simple gestures can be very helpful and meaningful.
Examples:
“I am going to the store. I can pick up your groceries and drop them off today, or whenever works for you.”
“I’m free Monday and Thursday afternoons to sit with your loved one so you can take time for yourself (e.g. shower, go for a walk, get a haircut, read a book, etc.). Does one of those days work for you?”
Summary:
By offering concrete and practical care, we assure those in need are seen, thought of, and supported.
Contact Details:
Heather McGrath 613-355-7652 hmcgraths@gmail.com
Emily Davison 613-219-987 EmilyDavison@cmail.carleton.ca